It's been a while

Well it's been a while since I last posted some news but it has been an incredibly hectic last couple of weeks. While I have been working, or should I say "working", some long hours, I have also been out and about most nights and on the weekends.

Beluga at Sunday Club Island

There has been a wedding, robberies, nights out with Wallabies, NRL and AFL players, trips to outer islands, mates arriving from Australia, a few Sunday Club Island sessions, plenty of nights at the Billfish and I have also moved into my very own waterfront palace complete with spa ensuite until the new year.

The girls at Atata

All this while trying to get my team ready for their World Cup Qualifiers which are getting closer and closer. We leave for New Zealand on January 5th and play our first game against Tahiti on January 9th. The boys have been training 2-3 times each day for the past three weeks now and, in my opinion, have improved significantly. While I still don't think that will be enough to be more-than-competitive against a team like Tahiti who have trained together for a year, I am looking forward to the challenge of playing against them.

The boys have now played two games, one against my club team here, which we drew, and another against a team which was mostly made of the Tongan national team with Marquee inclusion Tom O'Hara up front. The boys have done well when we have had our best 11 on the field but there is a clear lack of depth in the squad so I have my fingers crossed that we get no injuries or suspensions. It has also been frustrating that the team has been left to me to organise with little or no help.

I really don't have an assistant to speak of as the national team coach only comes in for one session a day as he is painting his house, the bloke who is supposed to be my assistant turns up with an hour to go of the last session and everyone else is on Christmas holidays. I am the only one left here at the bloody office which means not only do I coach the team but I have also had to drive boys to and from their homes to get boots and other gear and I have also been driving the TFA bus to drop boys home after camp finishes for the week. I have also had to pick up the chef on numerous occasions at 6am in the morning to make sure she gets here on time to cook breakfast and then take her home at 8pm at the end of the day. It has been pretty frustrating at times as it seems no one else cares how the team goes, but that is Tonga!

One of the boys I coach lives about as far away from the TFA as you can get and his family don't own a car. I have been driving him to and from training/camp for the past few weeks and, I assume, to say thanks he invited me to his brother's wedding last week. I have no idea how many Tongan weddings I'll be invited to so I decided to take a day off and head out to his village (a 30 min drive from the TFA) for the wedding.

The invitation said the wedding started at 10am and Siua called me at 930am to confirm that I'd be there. For a moment I completely forgot that I was in Tonga and assumed the wedding must be about to start so I sped off out to the village and got there at 1015am. As soon as I arrived it was very clear the wedding would not be starting soon as everyone was still preparing food or generally lazing about watching seven pigs being cooked on the roast and drinking kava. I also tend to think that weddings are quite formal occasions so I decided to put my suit pants, a long sleeved shirt and leather shoes on for the day. Mistake. As I arrived I realised everyone was in shorts and shirts and that is pretty much how it stayed for most of the day.

The pig, complete with lollipop

After three hours of watching pigs being slowly cooked over the coconut fire, the banquet being carefully laid out on the tables and mucking around with a few of the local kids who thought it was hilarious a palangi had turned up with a camera to the wedding, the groom and bride finally turned up. In Tonga it is traditional for the groom and bride to go to the church alone (usually accompanied with the bride's parents) to "give themselves to God", as it was explained to me. As the groom and bride arrived everyone broke out into spontaneous dancing, hollering and clapping as they celebrated the arrival of the new couple. There was then a bizarre moment where the groom made a b-line to me and gave me a kiss on both cheeks and a hug that almost squeezed all my lungs dry before he greeted anyone else. I was told later that sometimes in Tonga it can be prestigious to have a palangi at your wedding, so whether or not I was invited so the wedding couple could say that had a palangi at their wedding I don't know.

The Kids, they loved the camera and I didnt get it back for a couple of hours!

The newly weds

As quickly as the new couple appeared, they were whisked off again. It is tradition for the bride to bring all of her belongings from home to the wedding and lay them out for the groom's family to inspect before she moves into their house. Yes, most newly weds actually spend the first few years of marriage in their parent's home. I could hardly stand being at the parent's house when I had a girlfriend so to be at home with them when I have a wife (in 10-15 years of course) would be the definition of torture. Anyway, after another two hours of waiting around, in which time various old ladies and what appeared to be the wedding's entertainment - a bloke dressed in drag - danced around the garden with each other.

The entertainment

There was another weird moment when a woman of about 60 years (quite old here in Tonga) hobbled onto the dance floor with a plastic jug full of water. The crowd thought this was the funniest thing in the world and erupted in laughter as she poured the water down the front of her top (which, luckily enough was black) and she then proceeded to shake her boobs about. As they swung down near her belly button the bloke in drag picked her up and started running around the yard with her, as he did this a couple of people actually fell on the floor laughing. It was pretty funny but not sure how that would go down at an Aussie wedding if Nan thought she would poor champagne down her top and start shaking her goods about!

When the newly weds finally arrived we all sat down and started to eat the banquet which consisted of pig, all types of seafood, salads, vegetables, lollies and anything else you could possibly eat here in Tonga. After the food the traditional Tongan dancing started. I actually find the traditional woman's Tongan dance quite sexy. It would be more so if the performers weren't usually all huge and had moustaches but the dance is really quite elegant and graceful and I like it. It is tradition for the female dancers to oil themselves up before performing and if the crowd enjoy their performance they stick money on the dancer's skin or down her top. The only place I have heard of this sort of thing happen (I would of course never have seen it with my own eyes) is in a strip joint! It's a strange sight to see a woman dressed immaculately in Tongan dress, performing an elegant dance and being swamped by people trying to shove a ten pa'anga note down her top.

Tongan dance with cash down her top to say thanks for performing

There have also been a few dramas with our Kiwi girls' house being broken into twice in one week. Helen and Josie lived in a walled compound which was about a five minute drive from our house in Mata Ika. The girls had stayed at our house after a big night at the Billfish when I was woken up on the couch by Josie saying the house had been broken into the night before. Someone has clearly been watching the house and knew the girls weren't there, they also knew exactly what they wanted as after initially taking Josie's laptop they came back for Helen's laptop, iPod and, even worse the back-up hard drive!

That made it two break-ins in a week and the girls then moved in with us for their last week here in Tonga. While the police were called it appears they are less trusted than traditional Tongan 'witch doctors' as Helen was taken to a traditional 'doctor'. The bloke apparently had his arms missing and one leg and after carefully studying a deck of playing cards and clearly seeing a bit more than us mere palangi do in a few Aces and Kings gave Helen the names of two men who 'committed' the robbery. Needless to say I think it is a load of rubbish but Tongans do take stock in this kind of thing.

I had a great time at the wedding and am very glad I was able to go and experience something uniquely Tongan first hand. There has been a bit of 'tension' here between some of the other Australians who have lived here a while and a minority of them believe some of the 'new' Ausaid workers are culturally insensitive. Basically what they are saying is that we don't adhere to conservative church culture, that is, sit on our arses on Sunday, go to church and that as single blokes, we shouldn't go round to our friends' house (who happen to be single women) for dinner. As far as I am concerned that is ridiculous and the 'church' culture here is by no means representative of Tongan culture. While the church plays a massive role in Tongan culture, Tonga is a young country which is demographically dominated by young people. While the church plays a role in their life, it is no longer the over-bearing force it once was for their parents and grandparents.

I have basically been living with 18 Tongan kids aged 14-17 and engaging with their families over the past month and I KNOW I have learnt more from working with these kids, speaking with their families and being invited to their family homes for meals and weddings than I ever would going to a church or some pointless church-organised seminar. I want to experience Tonga, not the church.

Anyway, as I prepare to welcome David Micheal to The Kingdom just want to wish anyone who bothers to read this far a MERRY CHRISTMAS and I'll post another blog after Chrissy about our Tongan Christmas!

N.B. - The images are taking forever to upload and I have quite a few so while I'll post now at 12:10pm there will be plenty more photos a little later today