Five Months In Tonga

After a hard earned 10 day break I have returned to life as a football coach and realised I am now sitting a few days short of five months in The Kingdom of Tonga. I thought I’d do a quick ‘state of play’ blog on the frustrations, and all of the good things, to do with living in Tonga.

The Frustrations

The People – I want to be quick to point out that The People also make my ‘Good things’ list however ‘frustrating’ is certainly the word to describe dealing with some Tongans. Tongans have a carefree, stress-free outlook on life, which I adore, however if you want to get something done at work, are in a hurry (for whatever reason, usually you are not in a hurry here) then Tongans are not who you want to be dealing with. It recently took my accountant here four months to pay one invoice to a supplier I sourced in Australia, you can spend most of your day (as I can never be bothered to do it myself I rely on friends’ stories here) trying to get a driver’s licence at the Ministry of Transport or trying to pay a power/water bill. Efficiency is not what Tongans do best.

It is also hard to get a definitive answer out of Tongans, especially if they have not done as you have requested at work, don’t want to do any work or don’t know the answer to a question. If Tongans don’t know the answer to something, do not understand something or just can’t be bothered to do any work they will often just lie and say they have done what has been requested, or do understand your point in order to get out of having to answer that question or to get out of having to do work associated with your request/question. Tongans are lazy, and if you want something done or you don’t want to spoon feed answers to Tongans at work, i.e. promote free thinking, then it can be quite frustrating having to continually repeat yourself or ask questions over and over again.

What they are good at is looking after and caring for their family and friends. However this can become blatant nepotism in the workplace. It almost must be stated that Tongans, in general, HATE change. Recently, 150 police men and women signed a petition calling for the sacking of the New Zealand Police Commissioner here in Tonga. The reason behind the petition? The Kiwi had the gall to introduce reforms in promotion procedures which seek to reward those that perform well and have the merit and experience to justify higher levels of authority. The 150 officers who signed the petition want to return to the ‘old ways’ (circa 1968) wherein the Chief of Police could simply promote people how he wished, which normally relied upon family connections, if they were friends of family, or if they went to the same church as him.

Tonga is good at sunsets - credit Alice Bowen for this shot from Eua

Hierarchical Society – Tonga is very much a hierarchical society. On top of the societal pyramid you have The King, followed by The Nobles (who tend to hold most positions of power within institutions here in Tonga) and then the plebs. This hierarchical society can most obviously manifest itself in work situations. I am quite lucky to work in an open workplace where everyone can speak freely, however my mate Tom has told stories of going into meetings for the Ministry of Environment where workers refuse to offer opinions in case they may differ from the opinion of the Minister, a Noble. This phenomenon also manifests itself in other situations here in Tonga, and I hate it, mainly because I think people should be able to say what they want whether they are speaking to a noble, princess or pleb.

Mosquitos and wasps – Every day I am attacked by one or the other. I cannot sit at home in my hammock without being assaulted by mozzies and even now as I sit at my desk here at work there are what seems like hundreds of wasps circling me like sharks ready to pounce and sting me. My fear of wasps in now well founded after being attacked by a swarm (of four) wasps in ‘Eua.

Tongan Drivers – Tongan drivers are without doubt the worst I have come across in the world. To put this into context, there are pretty much only three or four main roads here in Tonga and you can only go up to 40km per hour on 95% of the roads here yet Tongans still drive like it is their first time behind the wheel every time they get in a car. The only time people here are ever in a rush is when they are trying to merge into traffic after stopping at an intersection. Either people have no sense of depth perception in judging gaps in traffic or it simply doesn’t register that one car could potentially hit another. Tongan drivers always seemed shocked when they have to stop at an intersection before merging into traffic and will do all they can to ensure their car does not stop. More often than not this involves accelerating into traffic so, when I have been driving, I quite literally have to stop in the middle of the road to make sure there isn’t a collision.

I am sure that if you spoke to other people who have lived here for five months they would have different frustrations such as: petty crime (the latest robbery of one of Tomasi’s bikes is worth a mention here but when we get to the bottom of what happened I will report it in a blog), the food, the police, their work, the church etc. But I have been quite lucky in that I have not been directly affected by most of these aspects of society, or can get on fine for example, without have a $10 steak every week from my local pub. So I will now move onto the things I love about living in Tonga.

An overly friendly local, he/she was getting a bit too close!

The Good things in life

The Lifestyle – My lifestyle here is amazing. I have come from sitting in an office for 9+hours each day and having to sit on a bus for an hour or more each day in peak hour traffic, to spending most of my time at work outdoors, riding my bike to and from work each day and, on most days, being able to spend my lunch breaks at the beach rather than in an air conditioned office. Tonga is not the place to live if you don’t like being active or being outdoors or if you are so desperately ambitious you cannot take a ‘gap year’. I am lucky in that my work place is effectively a football field, each morning my housemates and I are either in the harbour swimming, going for a jog, or if you really can’t be bothered with strenuous exercise you can simply take a snorkel down to the harbour and snorkel for an hour before going to work.

Weekends are also consumed with activities (Erin hope you enjoyed that!) as on Saturday if I am not playing or coaching football I will soon be playing cricket in the local Twenty20 competition or take part in the weekly bi/triathlon (I made my debut last week and was beaten by Tomasi by 66 seconds…. I’ll beat him one week!). Sundays are then filled with getting out on a boat to Sunday Club Island or getting a mate’s boat out to go fishing, snorkelling, wakeboarding around the harbour. I am about as fit and healthy as I have been in quite a few years.

If you like the sun, being outdoors and exercising then Tonga is the perfect place to live for a year.

Snorkelling at the shipwreck off Sunday Club Island

On the boat before a few beers and wakeboarding

My job – As I have touched on this in previous blogs I won’t go into it in too much detail here but for as long as I can remember I have wanted to coach football full-time. I have now been given the chance and plan on enjoying it! Every day we are at a school or in a community coaching young kids and as of Monday I will officially be the national team coach here when training for our World Cup Qualifiers in August/September kicks off.

The Food – If you like fresh, cheap seafood (and you would be made not to), then Tonga is your heaven. Last week I bought two kilos of fresh tuna from the fish market for 18 Pa’anga, or 10 Australian Dollars. Ten Dollars for two kilos of the freshest tuna you can get anywhere! We also bought seven crayfish for 40 Pa’anga, about 25 Aussie! The quality is amazing and it’s just too cheap not to buy it! There are plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables about too and if you can deal with a few vegetarian meals each week among a mainly seafood-based diet, like I can, then you will love the food in Tonga.

Underwater at a shipwreck

The People – In general Tongans are relaxed, easy-going, super-friendly people. As with any country on this Earth there are the bad eggs that can tarnish a country’s reputation (look at a lot of Aussie backpackers or Kiwis in general ;)) but there are not many places I have been where people will wave to you as you walk or ride your bike down the street. This became apparent when I went to New Zealand and started smiling and lifting my head (as people here do to say hi) at people and no-one was returning my gesture, and in fact most people looked the other way and quickened their pace away from me. People here are genuinely friendly and once you get to know a Tongan they will be loyal and welcome you into their home as they would an old friend or a family member.

There is also a lot to learn from Tongans in relation to the ‘important things in life’. People here are not rich, most houses are home to more than one family and people do not have a lot of commercial possessions, but they are happy. They are happy because there is not enough time in life to stress or to worry about the little things in life that can get you down and as long as they are in good health, have their family and friends around them, a Tongan is content. There is a lot Western societies could learn from this approach to life.

Back in The Kingdom

I have been back in Tonga now for a little over a week and I have just realised how much I love island life. While it also appears the TFA are getting their house in order now - we had three staff meetings in as many days - unheard of for this organisation - and they have even started forward planning to the South Pacific Games in August of this year.

As part of that planning, I have been made the Head Coach of the National Men's Team. For me, it is the greatest honour I have achieved so far in coaching, and, if I am to be honest, I doubt that I will ever have this sort of opportunity again. The reason being is that the South Pacific Games doubles up as the first leg of the 2014 World Cup Qualification campaign for the Oceania Football Confederation (OFC). At this stage it hasn't really sunk in that I will be coaching in a FIFA World Cup match, but it's a great honour and I want to make sure that we give it our best shot to get some decent results there.

As it stands, no-one here at the TFA is expecting much from the team. However, I believe that if we get the players fit, keep the system uncomplicated and the players are enjoying themselves then we may be able to affect a couple of upsets at the tournament. The one thing I am sure of is there is no way our results will mirror the Under 17 results!

Queenstown - from my four week trip to NZ in Jan

So why did I get the job? Well, if I am being honest it was by default really. The TFA cannot afford to recruit another overseas coach and the only Tongan here capable of leading the team (my boss Kilifi) has been promoted to the OFC Technical Study Group and therefore unable to coach a national team at any OFC event. For those of you not too familiar with football, the Technical Study Group's job is to observe all matches at a FIFA event and compile a report on the technical and tactical quality of play at that event. For Kilifi, and Tongan football in general, it is a massive achievement and one of the highest positions a coach can hold. So after ruling out Kilifi and an overseas coach, the Executive Committee (clearly impressed by the U17's defensive record) decided that I was to be the coach.

As I said before, it is an honour to be in this position and one day I'll be able to look back and say that as a 25 year old coach I was able to be involved in a FIFA World Cup match, which for me, is pretty special.

Other than that it is pretty much business as usual back in The Kingdom. The lovely Tonia has moved into The Lodge which means the days of The Lodge being a bachelor pad are over. However, Tonia is easy to live with and not a bad cook either which is always a plus! The Lodge is also currently having a few water issues which has meant that all three of us have been 'showering' from a bucket in our backyard. I'm not sure whether our conservative Tongan neighbours have appreciated seeing two blokes in jocks and a girl in a bikini throwing buckets of water over each other every morning but I am fast enjoying the bucket-shower and actually prefer it to the dribble of cold water our showers offer!

I have also had first hand experience of a robbery here in Tonga, although I was passed out (from a few too many beers) at the time of the robbery! Last Saturday we went to a party hosted by the Pilots here in Tonga. They live in a protected compound in what you would call Nuku 'Alofa 'suburbia'. However, despite the premises being surrounded by a tall barb-wire fence it appears a few locals have become adept at breaking in, and also quite brazen in their attempts to steal from the compound.

I had my phone stolen, along with Duane's laptop and another phone from a house in the compound that night. What made the robbery quite astounding was that there were five people asleep/passed out in the house at the time (including me on the couch - approximately 3m away from the laptop) and Tom on the floor of the living room. So essentially what the thief had to do was watch the house until it became apparent that everyone was asleep and then open one of the doors, tip-toe over the semi-naked Tom sprawled on the floor, disconnect the laptop from the power without waking anyone and then climb the barb wire fence and make off with their loot.

The robbery was quite an accomplishment in cat-burglary really but what is very apparent is that we all clearly had way too much to drink that night to not even stir as a stranger walked through the house stealing electronics left, right and centre! As usual the police did nothing on Sunday morning apart from ask if they could take some breadfruit from the tree that is just outside the house so we may well be going to see the Tongan witch doctor who Helen and Josie visited after their house was broken into!

A day at the races in Wellington

N.B - I'll stick up a few more shots from NZ when I get the chance too!

Goals For: 2, Goals Against: 46

Sometimes I just don’t understand the world. I am drafting this sitting on a Jetstar flight bound for Queenstown after two weeks in Auckland coaching at the Oceania Football Confederation (OFC) Under 17’s Championship, which doubled as the region’s World Cup Qualifiers for this year’s FIFA Under 17 World Cup. Sitting in the row in front of me is one of the most gorgeous girls I have ever seen. Sitting next to her is her boyfriend - a white, European version of Erkel. As I said, sometimes I just don’t understand the world.

What I do understand is that Tongan football needs a lot of work. You may gather from the title that we got thrashed in all four of our games at the tournament and that on the surface it would be impossible to describe the Tongan performance at the tournament a success, but I think it was. While we lost 8-0 to Tahiti, 15-0 to the Solomon Islands, 17-0 to New Caledonia and 6-2 to the Cook Islands (and I have never lost like that before ever in my life!) our performances at the tournament have opened the eyes of the people that count at the OFC and within the Tongan Football Association (TFA) that the current way of doing things cannot continue.

Let me put our results into perspective. For each game I was forced to field a minimum of three to six players that were aged 13-15. Each team we played against fielded sides with 16 year olds, as expected at an U17 tournament. My boys had never played in fast, tough, competitive matches of this kind and had five weeks of proper football training under their belts. All of our opposition, including the Cook Islands, were trained in national academies since the age of ten and had played in competitive matches their whole lives. We didn’t stand a chance. All the players we came up against were not only vastly technically superior (i.e. they knew how to control, pass, play accurate long passes, defend in one on one situations etc) but they clearly understood the game. The opposition were always one (or five) steps ahead of us. My boys would react to situations rather than anticipate situations. It would take a long ball to be played over our defence for them to turn and chase rather than anticipating the long ball (through reading the game) and defending appropriately as a unit to counter the threat. No matter how much you train, you cannot substitute the value of matches in developing a player’s understanding of the game.

Vs. Cook Islands

As a side note, I was also surprised at the level of quality (ourselves excepted) at the tournament. I thought (rather naively) going into this tournament that the level of the NSW Premier League (where I used to coach with Manly United) would be superior. But if the Manly United Under 17 side turned up at this tournament they would be pummeled and embarrassed in each game, not to the extent Tonga was however!

One of 15 goals against the Solomons

Now while all this sounds largely negative, it isn’t. For me the highlight was our second half performance against the Cook Islands. After having one of our best players sent off, we played for 40 minutes with ten men and managed to win the second half 2-1. This showed me (and members of the TFA’s Executive Committee who were in attendance) that we do have some talent to work with in the future. Another positive has been the networking opportunities that have presented themselves throughout the course of the tournament. I was lucky enough to have a meeting with the head of Technical Development for the OFC, I attended training sessions and chatted with the coaches of Papua New Guinea, Solomon Islands, American Samoa and Vanuatu and now have many ideas that I can take back to Tonga for the future. A number of these conversations have also led to possible job opportunities in the future, if I am so inclined.

The results and the performances of the boys, coupled with the networking opportunities I have had, will also lend further weight to my arguments that Tonga needs a fully functioning national academy in order to develop talent for the future. My job is now to go away and pen a report on the preparation and performance of the team and provide recommendations on how Tonga can move forward.

Our GK was the centre of attention in every match!

I have been told to be brutally honest in my summation by the TFA’s new Secretary General and am optimistic that a number of my recommendations will be taken on board. If they are, my job in Tonga will now be to establish a fully functioning youth academy over the next six months. That is, establish a means of selecting talent, devise a curriculum and talent pathway to ensure all players (boys and girls) train and play year round and develop a framework to develop and educate Tongan coaches to work at the academy and also in the wider community. I will do this while also assisting to prepare the national men’s and women’s team for the South Pacific Games in New Caledonia this August. If this is the case it will be a busy (relatively busy anyway – I am in Tonga after all) six months and a chance for me to leave a bit of a legacy for future Tongan coaches and Tongan players.

However, if for whatever reason the TFA decide against establishing a national academy (and I know budgetary issues are not a concern as I have had assurances from the OFC they will assist with money to establish the academy) then I will need to rethink my position in Tonga and whether it is worth hanging around while nothing changes for no good reason.

Note – New Zealand from the air is absolutely amazing. We are just flying over the South Island as I type this and there have been snow-capped volcanoes and mountains a tapestry of rivers intersecting each, golden beaches and awesome coast line the whole way. I am going to spend the next two and a bit weeks here on holiday driving from Queenstown back to Auckland via Mt. Cook, the west coast, Nelson and Wellington. I cannot wait and have a sneaky feeling I am going to fall in love with the South Island of New Zealand, either way it’s finally a chance to eat good food, drink good beers, catch up with a few people and perhaps convince the Euro in front of me to ditch Erkel!

Getting ready for Tahiti

Right now I am sitting in a horrible little internet cafe in Auckland after finishing our last training session ahead of our first game tomorrow against Tahiti. I realise that my tone was probably a bit narky in my last blog but I was just frustrated at what was going on. However, everyone there at the TFA that I deal with worked hard to convince the Executive Committee to allow the team to play and we now have the privilege of playing a World Cup Qualifying game tommorrow.

When it comes to coaching I have an ultra competitive nature as I just want my team to play to the best of their ability and to ultimately win. In the last day or so I have started to realise that winning isn't everything all the time and, as I was explained last night, "there will be life after the games." I know the boys will do their best for me and the fact is we are playing a team that is technically superior to us and have been together for 18 months training and playing over 20 games. We have been together for six weeks and played four games. While I desperately want to win, I think it is more important to feel proud to represent their country and to perform to the best of their ability.

I have also realised this trip is not just about football. I made the decision to live and work in Tonga based on the premise that I would get a chance to coach in an international competition. At 24, I now have that chance but my determination to do well here as led me to worry about 'little things' of no consequence and miss the bigger picture.

I think back now a couple of days to the plane trip here when we were flying over Auckland at approximately 1am in the morning (we were delayed 90 mins due to there being one person on the customs desk at Nuku 'Alofa and everyone having to line up in single file to get through) and the youngest player in the team who was sitting next to me excitedly poked me imploring me to look out the window. I have been lucky enough to travel a little bit and seen many cityscapes from the air at night, but this 13 year old kid had never been to a city before or even on a plane. After getting my attention he started tapping on the window and looking out at Auckland lit up at night, he then said "Auckland is faka ofa ofa" (Auckland is beautiful). I have never heard such sincere amazement and excitement in a kid's voice and now realise that this trip is about much more than football (although it would be nice to win a game or two). It is about taking 18 kids who have never left an island of 60,000 people before to see a another part of the world and open their eyes to a way of life off their beautiful, sleepy island.

Oh my... God

It has been an awesome Christmas and New Year's here in Tonga. I've had Tommy O'Hara, who perfected the art of doing nothing during his three weeks here, Dave Michael, who went through a truck-load of SPF +30 and Stevie Trik who could not keep still for longer than 10 minutes here in Tonga. During the time the boys were here we pretty much ate, drank, went for a daily swim and managed to fit in a couple of trips to Sunday Club Island.

Tommy

Dave

Stelio in the middle

We had a great Christmas Day as myself, Tom, David and my housemate Tomasi had a Bachelor's Christmas. Waking up at 11am after a few too many beers the night before we (except Tom of course) started preparing an afternoon feast consisting of tuna sashimi, pan fried tuna, roast vegetables, octopus, salad, wine, beers, rum, loads of chips and lollies and of course the PIG. At about 2pm we sat down on the balcony of 'The Palace', complete with an ocean view, and pretty much sat there drinking beers and eating food for the rest of the day, was a good way to spend my Tongan Christmas!

The pig being devoured

Christmas Drinks

I really appreciated the boys coming over here, it is easily the most expensive time of year to fly from Australia to Tonga and it was great to spend some time with three good mates from home. Hopefully one day I'll be in the position to visit them when they are living and working overseas.

The Pig

Now that the boys have gone I have started focusing all my efforts into getting the Tongan Under 17 team ready for their World Cup Qualifiers next week, which are supposed to start with a game against Tahiti on Sunday, 9th January.

I say supposed to be starting on the 9th as the Executive Committee of the Tongan Football Association have only just realised that the 9th, is a Sunday and they want us to forfeit the game against Tahiti. Sunday is a holy day here in Tonga, it is illegal for anyone to exercise, for shops to be open or to do anything at all really except to eat, sleep and go to church. There has also, apparently, been a precedent set as no Tongan national team has ever played on a Sunday. I think that is a load of rubbish and the Executive Committee are just making up excuses so people can't accuse them of being impious by allowing a bunch of teenagers to play a game of football on a Sunday.


While I can understand their stance if the game was supposed to be played here in Tonga, it's not. So it's not a legal issue, it's a 'moral' issue. It's an easy decision for a bunch of old Tongans to sit in a room and decide a team shouldn't play but the boys want to play, the other coaches (who are all Tongan) want them to play and all of the staff here (except one) want them to play.

The reality is, we will more than likely get slaughtered by Tahiti who have had over 12 months to prepare and have been playing in their national second division for a year. We've had five weeks and four friendly games against teams of varying skill and Tahiti will probably vie with New Zealand for the OFC's spot at the 2011 Under 17 World Cup. But it's not about winning, it's about the boys who have worked hard over the past five to six weeks being denied a chance to play in a FIFA World Cup Qualifying competition by a bunch of old men who think they know better. It is also about common sense, which is in short supply here in Tonga. What is the point of paying all the money to send a team to NZ and then just forfeiting the first game?


I met with a few members from the Committee today and tried to explain this to them. In as many words they said "we have no chance of winning anyway and it will be good for the boys to play the other three games regardless". It was not really the response I was looking for so I decided to try a different tact, I explained to them that if 'God' really is all powerful and has a hand in everything here on Earth then he must have had a hand in selecting all 18 boys in the squad, to which they agreed. I then said that 'God' must have played a hand in scheduling the match against Tahiti on Sunday so 'God' must have a good reason for wanting the boys to play that game on a Sunday.

Clutching at straws I know but they listened and will let me know of their decision at Midday tomorrow.

It's been a while

Well it's been a while since I last posted some news but it has been an incredibly hectic last couple of weeks. While I have been working, or should I say "working", some long hours, I have also been out and about most nights and on the weekends.

Beluga at Sunday Club Island

There has been a wedding, robberies, nights out with Wallabies, NRL and AFL players, trips to outer islands, mates arriving from Australia, a few Sunday Club Island sessions, plenty of nights at the Billfish and I have also moved into my very own waterfront palace complete with spa ensuite until the new year.

The girls at Atata

All this while trying to get my team ready for their World Cup Qualifiers which are getting closer and closer. We leave for New Zealand on January 5th and play our first game against Tahiti on January 9th. The boys have been training 2-3 times each day for the past three weeks now and, in my opinion, have improved significantly. While I still don't think that will be enough to be more-than-competitive against a team like Tahiti who have trained together for a year, I am looking forward to the challenge of playing against them.

The boys have now played two games, one against my club team here, which we drew, and another against a team which was mostly made of the Tongan national team with Marquee inclusion Tom O'Hara up front. The boys have done well when we have had our best 11 on the field but there is a clear lack of depth in the squad so I have my fingers crossed that we get no injuries or suspensions. It has also been frustrating that the team has been left to me to organise with little or no help.

I really don't have an assistant to speak of as the national team coach only comes in for one session a day as he is painting his house, the bloke who is supposed to be my assistant turns up with an hour to go of the last session and everyone else is on Christmas holidays. I am the only one left here at the bloody office which means not only do I coach the team but I have also had to drive boys to and from their homes to get boots and other gear and I have also been driving the TFA bus to drop boys home after camp finishes for the week. I have also had to pick up the chef on numerous occasions at 6am in the morning to make sure she gets here on time to cook breakfast and then take her home at 8pm at the end of the day. It has been pretty frustrating at times as it seems no one else cares how the team goes, but that is Tonga!

One of the boys I coach lives about as far away from the TFA as you can get and his family don't own a car. I have been driving him to and from training/camp for the past few weeks and, I assume, to say thanks he invited me to his brother's wedding last week. I have no idea how many Tongan weddings I'll be invited to so I decided to take a day off and head out to his village (a 30 min drive from the TFA) for the wedding.

The invitation said the wedding started at 10am and Siua called me at 930am to confirm that I'd be there. For a moment I completely forgot that I was in Tonga and assumed the wedding must be about to start so I sped off out to the village and got there at 1015am. As soon as I arrived it was very clear the wedding would not be starting soon as everyone was still preparing food or generally lazing about watching seven pigs being cooked on the roast and drinking kava. I also tend to think that weddings are quite formal occasions so I decided to put my suit pants, a long sleeved shirt and leather shoes on for the day. Mistake. As I arrived I realised everyone was in shorts and shirts and that is pretty much how it stayed for most of the day.

The pig, complete with lollipop

After three hours of watching pigs being slowly cooked over the coconut fire, the banquet being carefully laid out on the tables and mucking around with a few of the local kids who thought it was hilarious a palangi had turned up with a camera to the wedding, the groom and bride finally turned up. In Tonga it is traditional for the groom and bride to go to the church alone (usually accompanied with the bride's parents) to "give themselves to God", as it was explained to me. As the groom and bride arrived everyone broke out into spontaneous dancing, hollering and clapping as they celebrated the arrival of the new couple. There was then a bizarre moment where the groom made a b-line to me and gave me a kiss on both cheeks and a hug that almost squeezed all my lungs dry before he greeted anyone else. I was told later that sometimes in Tonga it can be prestigious to have a palangi at your wedding, so whether or not I was invited so the wedding couple could say that had a palangi at their wedding I don't know.

The Kids, they loved the camera and I didnt get it back for a couple of hours!

The newly weds

As quickly as the new couple appeared, they were whisked off again. It is tradition for the bride to bring all of her belongings from home to the wedding and lay them out for the groom's family to inspect before she moves into their house. Yes, most newly weds actually spend the first few years of marriage in their parent's home. I could hardly stand being at the parent's house when I had a girlfriend so to be at home with them when I have a wife (in 10-15 years of course) would be the definition of torture. Anyway, after another two hours of waiting around, in which time various old ladies and what appeared to be the wedding's entertainment - a bloke dressed in drag - danced around the garden with each other.

The entertainment

There was another weird moment when a woman of about 60 years (quite old here in Tonga) hobbled onto the dance floor with a plastic jug full of water. The crowd thought this was the funniest thing in the world and erupted in laughter as she poured the water down the front of her top (which, luckily enough was black) and she then proceeded to shake her boobs about. As they swung down near her belly button the bloke in drag picked her up and started running around the yard with her, as he did this a couple of people actually fell on the floor laughing. It was pretty funny but not sure how that would go down at an Aussie wedding if Nan thought she would poor champagne down her top and start shaking her goods about!

When the newly weds finally arrived we all sat down and started to eat the banquet which consisted of pig, all types of seafood, salads, vegetables, lollies and anything else you could possibly eat here in Tonga. After the food the traditional Tongan dancing started. I actually find the traditional woman's Tongan dance quite sexy. It would be more so if the performers weren't usually all huge and had moustaches but the dance is really quite elegant and graceful and I like it. It is tradition for the female dancers to oil themselves up before performing and if the crowd enjoy their performance they stick money on the dancer's skin or down her top. The only place I have heard of this sort of thing happen (I would of course never have seen it with my own eyes) is in a strip joint! It's a strange sight to see a woman dressed immaculately in Tongan dress, performing an elegant dance and being swamped by people trying to shove a ten pa'anga note down her top.

Tongan dance with cash down her top to say thanks for performing

There have also been a few dramas with our Kiwi girls' house being broken into twice in one week. Helen and Josie lived in a walled compound which was about a five minute drive from our house in Mata Ika. The girls had stayed at our house after a big night at the Billfish when I was woken up on the couch by Josie saying the house had been broken into the night before. Someone has clearly been watching the house and knew the girls weren't there, they also knew exactly what they wanted as after initially taking Josie's laptop they came back for Helen's laptop, iPod and, even worse the back-up hard drive!

That made it two break-ins in a week and the girls then moved in with us for their last week here in Tonga. While the police were called it appears they are less trusted than traditional Tongan 'witch doctors' as Helen was taken to a traditional 'doctor'. The bloke apparently had his arms missing and one leg and after carefully studying a deck of playing cards and clearly seeing a bit more than us mere palangi do in a few Aces and Kings gave Helen the names of two men who 'committed' the robbery. Needless to say I think it is a load of rubbish but Tongans do take stock in this kind of thing.

I had a great time at the wedding and am very glad I was able to go and experience something uniquely Tongan first hand. There has been a bit of 'tension' here between some of the other Australians who have lived here a while and a minority of them believe some of the 'new' Ausaid workers are culturally insensitive. Basically what they are saying is that we don't adhere to conservative church culture, that is, sit on our arses on Sunday, go to church and that as single blokes, we shouldn't go round to our friends' house (who happen to be single women) for dinner. As far as I am concerned that is ridiculous and the 'church' culture here is by no means representative of Tongan culture. While the church plays a massive role in Tongan culture, Tonga is a young country which is demographically dominated by young people. While the church plays a role in their life, it is no longer the over-bearing force it once was for their parents and grandparents.

I have basically been living with 18 Tongan kids aged 14-17 and engaging with their families over the past month and I KNOW I have learnt more from working with these kids, speaking with their families and being invited to their family homes for meals and weddings than I ever would going to a church or some pointless church-organised seminar. I want to experience Tonga, not the church.

Anyway, as I prepare to welcome David Micheal to The Kingdom just want to wish anyone who bothers to read this far a MERRY CHRISTMAS and I'll post another blog after Chrissy about our Tongan Christmas!

N.B. - The images are taking forever to upload and I have quite a few so while I'll post now at 12:10pm there will be plenty more photos a little later today

Eua is faka 'ofa'ofa

Eua is absolutely beautiful (faka 'ofa 'ofa). I have just got back from a long weekend there with six other palangi who are working here in Nuku 'Alofa and want to go back as soon as possible.

Eua is a tiny island - according to Wikipedia it's 87 square kms in area and has a population of approximately 5,000 - that is a gruelling eight minute flight from Nuku 'Alofa. It's covered in almost-virgin rainforest and is surrounded by coral fringed, crystal clear waters. Eua is exactly what I wanted the South Pacific and Tonga to be. To be honest I never expected it, but I wanted the South Pacific to be beautiful tropical rainforest, coral fringed beaches and a relaxed, friendly culture. Eua is exactly that.

While the others caught the three hour ferry over to Eua on Saturday morning, I left on Saturday afternoon and caught the eight minute flight after work. I don't consider myself to be a nervous flyer however the plane that makes the journey has got to be the smallest commercial plane I have ever seen. I sat in the front row, and if I was so inclined, could have easily reached over the seat and fiddle with buttons or even take control of the plane. In fact on the way back the plane (seating nine people at capacity) was so full that Tom actually sat in the 'cock pit' next to our pilot. I think the truck I am driving here for the TFA is actually bigger than the plane.

Inside the plane

I must admit when the plane's engines started up and all sort of lights on the plane's dashboard (for want of the proper technical name for the part of the plane which houses all the various buttons and control mechanisms) started beeping and flashing I was sweating bullets. It got worse as the little plane started to pelt down the runway and my stomach turned as the sound of the propellers, about one metre from my head, consumed the tiny plane. However, once we were up and away it was a beautiful flight giving great views of Tongatapu and little Eua just 40km away.

The plane

After successfully avoiding the potholes on the tarmac at Eua airport, I was picked up and taken to Taina's Guesthouse, our hostel for the weekend. The guesthouse is little more than a few spare shed sized rooms on Taina's property. Taina, lives there with her family ( I think she had about six kids, however there could have been more) and is also heavily involved with the Mormon church on the island. It explained why, on arrival, Tom and I were shown to our own cosy little two-bed shed while the five girls were squeezed into four beds in another shed that was set on the other side of the main house. It was clear that Taina wasn't too keen on any Palangi Shaganagans.

That night, after a quick swim at a beautifully isolated beach and a few pre gins, vodkas and tequilas we were driven with the rest of Taina's family, to the local Morman Church hall which hosts a disco each Saturday night. I had been promised that an elderly woman (who ended up being Taina's Mum) would patrol the dance floor and flash a torch at any unmarried couple who danced too close. Despite our best efforts the flash light never made an appearance (even after Helen, from NZ, flashed most of the dance floor after taking a tumble on the df - stock standard kiwi behaviour really) and it actually felt like I was back at a Primary school dance. There was the usual Tongan dance music and R&B selections but this was coupled with a few slow, waltz type songs for couples. When these songs came on it was like something out of a movie where all the single people sat down and anyone who was a couple would dance. Needless to say we always made sure there was someone to couple up with - Tongan or Palangi - and yet still no flashlight!

The Mormon Disco

The next day, with a hangover that got increasingly worse as the morning rolled on we set out to find the Soldier's Grave lookout which is perched at just about the highest point on Eua. We quickly made our way to one of the huge, beautiful Banyan trees on the island. This one was looked exactly like the mythical tree in Avatar, and was an intricate maze of vines and branches which clung to the side of a sink hole in the rainforest. We continued to make our way to where we thought the lookout could be but inevitably got lost after I thought it would be a good idea to march through dense undergrowth which was clearly not the route the basic map had set out for us. So after a few frustrating hours of going nowhere, and with everyone's legs cut up from the undergrowth we decided to turn around and try again the next day.

After, amazingly, an alcohol free night of reading books, snoozing and watching movies we were given a lift to the start of the track which led to the lookout. The track was clearly a 4WD track too and where tyres had previously worn away the ground, steady ground was replaced with slippery mud. We didn't get too far before mud was being flung in every direction and we eventually made it to the top covered head to toe in mud.

It was all worth it though as the view was stunning (photo of the view at the beginning of the post). There was a small break in the trees where you could stand on the edge of a 300m+ cliff face which overlooked more rainforest before eventually giving way to an isolated coral fringed reef. It was an amazing view. Next time I would like to trek over to the beach and camp there for a couple of nights, it was your perfect palm-lined, coral fringed tropical beach. We then hurtled down the mountain and got taken to a beach closer to town where Taina and her family were having a picnic.

The Palangi

It was a perfect way to finish the day as we mucked about with the kids in the shallow coral. Sand fights, turned to water fights and the kids would stand on my shoulders and then dive off into an area no bigger than about a metre wide and a metre deep surrounded by jagged coral. How they missed the coral I don't know and we must have spent over two hours in the water as the Tongan kids used us as jungle gym equipment until it was time for lunch.

One of my favourite pics, Helen and I with the two kids who didn't want to get off our shoulders

I have now been back a few days and have got straight back into work. My boys have started camp preparation for the World Cup Qualifiers next month and are living on-campus here at the TFA full-time. We are training two to three times a day and I can honestly say they are getting better and improving all the time. It can be quite frustrating with the language barrier but I am trying to communicate as much as I can in Tongan and use body language to get my point across.

It is a challenge (especially as I am now here at the office at 6am in the morning as it is my job to pick up the chef and then take her home at bout 830pm) but I am enjoying it and it is the reason I came here. I have actually just returned from my morning session of training and am now buzzing! The boys actually 'got it' this morning in relation to switching the play and looking for space or in Tongan 'fakacaucau'. So things are moving quite nicely, although there has been some issues at home but I will talk about that later if I still feel the need to vent.

* I'll also have some more photos from this weekend soon after I upload them from my camera so will post them when I can.

One of Taina's kids